Born Again Bear
by Timothy Bourbon Belmonte III
Summary: A cute story about my favorite character Panda. Hope you enjoy. xxx


Bears are uncivilized, and anyone who questions that fact must be a bear themselves. Either that or a pagan.

Instead of one of their typical jaunts through the city, Panda decided to stay at home. He wasn't in the mood to stack or be the butt of Grizz's jokes. Ever since the last breakup, he just wanted to huddle in a corner and wonder why girls can't appreciate his self-proclaimed cuddly nature. Maybe he should buy a new hat, or try some body spray. Or he could read that one book about how looking at a girl's mouth weakens their guard. What a poor hunter-gatherer Panda was.

Elsewhere, Grizz and Ice Bear stacked on top of each other—resembling a boston crème pie—and walked through the unusually empty streets of San Francisco. Most days, like every day ending with a Y, would have more people than a refugee camp. But at this moment, it was almost barren. Almost, because the two bears saw one figure loitering near a building. They came across a dark-skinned man wearing a gold and purple robe, with some funny looking eyebrows and sideburns on him.

"Ice Bear wonders who styled this man's hair."

"The lord did," he said, glaring at the two bears like they were children playing hooky. "It's so nice to see such young adults—

"Bears! Young bears!" Grizz interrupted.

"—here, but I sense something wrong in you two."

Confused, Grizz sniffed himself and said, "Dunno what you're talking about. I smell like… like tables! Yeah, tables. Tables smell nice, right?"

"No, it's not that. I meant your soul. Your inner being."

"Souls? Okay, man. If this is some trippy New Age garbage, we'll be right—"

"I'm not some kind of hippie, my friend. What I preach is true and sent directly from God's will. I just want to share the words of the Lord to you. You and your pale friend."

"Ice Bear is not pale," Ice Bear said. "Ice Bear transcends description."

"Yes, that's nice. But come with me down the alley."  
"Which alley?" Grizz asked.

The man pointed beside him. "This alley."

"So you live in an alley, because I'm still not sure about doing this."  
"No, I don't live in an alley! The lord grants me much more than that! Now follow me and I'll strengthen and in every way possible."

"Whatever you say, snake charmer."

They walked down the alley. Ice Bear felt a chill from the man, almost as if there was someone else behind him, but paid it no heed. If you were going to say no to a camp priest, you were going to live an excruciatingly boring life. Such was Ice Bear's creed.

X x x

A few hours later, Grizz and Ice Bear returned to the cave with bibles and water bottles in their hands. Hearing them come back, Panda crawled into the living room to see how their day was.

"Hey guys," he said. "Sorry I couldn't hang out today. Personal problems and all that."

"It's okay, Panda," Grizz said. "Everything will be okay."

"…Uh-huh. So did either of you get takeout today? I don't want to eat pizza for the fifth day in a row."

"You won't need pizza where we're going, brother."

Before Panda could respond, Ice Bear grabbed him from behind and straddled him down on the floor.

"What the heck are you doing?!"

"Saving your soul, brother Panda."

"Ice Bear's embrace is not as strong as the lord's embrace," Ice Bear said.

"The lord?" Panda said. "What happened today? What are you guys talking about, and get your claws away from me already!"

"Hush," Grizz said. "This is simply salvation, and if you resist, the pain will grow further."

Ice Bear spread Panda's legs while Grizz opened up one of his water bottles. This wasn't the best way to commit to the ceremony, but it was certainly the easiest when all things are said.

"This is wrong!" Panda said. "We're brothers!"

"But not in brothers in spirit, and this must be done."

Grizz took the water bottle and tried putting the nozzle inside Panda, but it couldn't fit.

"Oh. It appears I must sin in order to save."

Panda's asshole was too tight, so Grizz had to open it up to the light of the lord. He stretched out his tongue and licked his brother's anus, stimulating every one of Panda's anal nerve endings to the point of serenity. Despite the unwiped texture and obvious virginity, Grizz enjoyed licking the ass. It felt like eating the remains of a burrito someone left unfinished. But he mustn't enjoy it too much, lest he become fallen in his lord's eyes. Grizz quickly retracted his tongue, satisfied that the butt was fully open and unconstipated. It needed to be for the journey in a few seconds.

"This ass is clean in the eyes of the lord," Grizz said. "Now begins the second trial for our heretic brother."

Grizz took the water bottle and shoved it up Panda's ass. Grizz and Ice Bear went through this same trial just today, and so their brother must share the same destiny. If he could not succeed, he would not be a true soul brother.

"Please don't baptize my anus! I don't want your lord!" Panda cried, but to no avail. His innards felt all the holy water flow down into his bladder, like an enema of Eden cascading his bowels and into his soul. Panda hadn't felt this way since his birth, when he was released from the Mother Bear's womb.

Grizz couldn't help but smile at his brother's transformation, as all of the fluids were being consumed by Panda's bum. Ice Bear didn't care less, but he never really cared for Panda when the chips were down. In front of them, Panda was transforming, his soul breaking apart and crystallizing anew. While an onlooker would just think he was drunk and attempting to breakdance, the bears knew a Christian metamorphosis when they saw one.

After a minute, Panda became limp. He almost looked dead, which would be bad news for Grizz if the liberals knew these corners of the world. But he knew better, this was only the first step to the special baptism. To expect anything else would be sacrilege.

X x x

Chloe Park had just finished today's college hours and wanted to refresh by hanging out with her bear friends. She bicycled away from the city and into the wildlife, hoping for some wholesome fun. Instead, she came across her friends in suits, ties, and a jug of holy water.

"Guys, what's with the get up?" Chloe asked.

"Don't worry," Panda assured. "Soon, you shall become like me. Like all of us…"


End file.
